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Friday, December 29, 2006

The Name Game, revisited

Since Kiddo was born a boy instead of a girl, we didn't have the same amount of time to consider what his name would be. I posted a couple of times about the name decision; for a while we were going through the alphabet a day at a time thinking of all the girl names we knew with those letters. In the end, we thought of a few girl names we liked, but were waiting for the baby's birth to make a decision.

Then came The Big Surprise of 2006: kiddo was a boy. We sat in the hospital room the day after he was born and in about 3 minutes picked his name. I listed about 5 boy names I liked, and Christina mentioned the ones she liked of those. Then we talked about the meanings for a minute, and we made our decision. 3 minutes to make a decision for a boy's name when we'd talked about girl names for more than 4 full months. It's kind of funny when we look back on it.

We really didn't want to share with people our thoughts about names, though, because we were afraid of getting input from people who wanted to tell us what to name our baby, or how to spell the name. We were on the traditional side of things, both in name choices and in spellings, but we still didn't want everybody telling us how to do things.

Then I read a recent Dear Abby article about this subject. I thought I'd share it with you. (Thanks to my MIL for finding this and sending it to me.)

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Thursday, December 07, 2006

Home at last

We came home from the hospital!!

Here is a picture of our little guy in his car seat, getting his hospital tags cut off.

We came home yesterday afternoon and its starting to sink in that this is real. I didn’t get to post last night because we had visits from two different home health agencies (Kiddo is on oxygen, and has to have IV antibiotics every 12 hours), so life got a bit harried.

You can’t see it in this picture, but Kiddo has an IV port coming out the top of his head. It looks kind of pitiful, actually. Here is another picture.

Anyway, mom and son are both doing well. We are having a great time together. We go back to the pediatrician tomorrow to get an update on Kiddo’s pneumonia and lungs. I’ll let you know what happens.

Thanks for your thoughts and prayers. They are working.

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Wednesday, December 06, 2006

In-hospital update

We are still in the hospital. Officially C has been discharged, so we are doing a "hotel stay" so we can stay close to Kiddo who has not been released. Kiddo has pneumonia, and needs oxygen to help him keep saturated. I'm hoping that maybe tomorrow the pediatrician will allow us to take Kiddo home, even if he is still on oxygen. There isn't much that is happening at the hospital that we couldn't do at home, if we had the right equipment.

Being a dad is wonderful. I'm so happy. Life is good. Very, very good.

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Monday, December 04, 2006

A Gift from God

OK. Finally a chance to breathe. Which means a chance to update the blogging world on our exploits.

I know this is going to be long. Bear with me.

Thursday I went to work for a while, but came home early in the day for a conference call that was late in the afternoon. It was good to be home, because I was able to be with C, who had contractions that were starting to come more regularly. We teach an evening Institute class at a college institute that is about 45 minutes from our house. That's on Thursdays, so we decided to go to class, as it was our last class for the year.

Thursday night contractions were coming every 8-10 minutes, with an occasional 5 minute, or 6 minute contraction. We taught our class, and drove home. On the way home, C was lamenting not getting her hair cut before the baby came. She was sad about the thought that if the baby were to come overnight, she wouldn't have had her hair cut (the appointment was for Friday morning). So while we were driving home, I called our neighbor on the phone. This neighbor cuts hair, and has a salon in her house. I asked if she would consider an emergency 9:45 PM hair appointment, which she did. We got home knowing that no matter what, there would be cute hair for the baby's birth. :)

We got to bed late, and the contractions stayed regular throughout the night, and C didn't sleep much. We woke up, and timed them again, and they were about 6 minutes apart, but weren't extremely intense. We watched them get to be about five minutes apart, but somewhat irregularly; some were 20 minutes apart, which seemed to indicate false labor, however at about noon, C decided that it was maybe time to go to the hospital to get checked out. When she scheduled the original hair appointment, she had also scheduled an eyebrow wax (hey, there's going to be pictures for posterity, right?), but since she hadn't gone to the hair appointment, she hadn't had the wax either. While we were driving to the hospital, we passed an waxing place, and C said, "I bet it wouldn't take long if we stopped and had the eyebrow wax before we went to the hospital." Well, knowing what I know now, there is no chance I would have stopped for a wax. But we were uninformed, and somewhat naïve, I suppose, so we stopped and had the eyebrows waxed. (I should have taken a picture after it was done. They were so red!)

We got to the hospital. I half expected them to send us away, since the contractions weren't as severe as they are for those women in the movies! They got C hooked up to the monitors and started watching the baby. Everybody who came in asked if we knew the gender. Of course, we knew it was a baby girl. The ultrasonographer at week 20 was certain it was a girl, and we've been planning accordingly. I've never seen so much pink in my life. And we found the most adorable little baby girl coming home outfit I've ever seen. But that is getting side tracked from the topic here.

More...

The fetal monitor showed minimal variation in the baby's heart rate, which meant that the baby wasn't responding to anything. They tried making baby listen to loud sounds, and they tried pushing and prodding the baby. Major pushing and prodding. During contractions. Nothing caused the heart rate to move much.

After a couple of hours, they decided that they needed to do internal monitoring (by placing a sensor directly on baby's head). In order to do that, they had to artificially rupture the membrane. At this point, the pain had become unbearable, for a couple of reasons including hemorrhoids. Since they were going to have to do stuff internally, we decided to go ahead and get the epidural. She had dilated to a six at this point, but we talked about it and felt the epidural intervention was necessary. So the anesthesiologist came in and gave the epidural. Then they broke the membranes and discovered that the baby had passed the first bowel movement in-utero, which was bad news, since baby was still a week away from the due date. It is a sign that there is fetal distress. After two attempts, they finally got the internal monitor working (turns out the first time it was a faulty connection, not a problem with the monitor or the monitor site), and they were able to see that with every contraction, the baby's heart rate was dropping. The doctor determined that it wasn't in baby's best interest to try to be born naturally, when baby couldn't handle the stress of a standard contraction. The decision was made to do a c-section, and I'm so glad we did it.

They took us back into the operating room and prepped C for the surgery. I'm weak-kneed with a weak stomach, so I didn't really want to watch. They offered a mirror for C to watch, but she decided that she didn't want to watch either. As the head started to come out of the incision, the anesthesiologist pointed, and I looked. I saw the head come out and then the body. As they were carrying the baby over to the nursery side of the OR, I saw between the little legs, and I said, "Is that a BOY?" The doctor said, "Yep! It's a boy!" And I thought, "Did you pull out the right baby? We're expecting a GIRL!"

When I found out it was a boy, I was in shock. I couldn't believe it. This was not what we expected at all. Not that I'm sad at all about a boy. I'm just so surprised! I mean, WOW! This is not what I expected. I think it's like planning a trip to Hawaii and getting on the plane, and having the plane land in England. Both are great places to visit, but you'd pack different clothes for the trip, if only you'd known when you started.

Anyway, back to the story. I followed the baby while they stitched up Mom. They let her look at him briefly before we ran out the door to the nursery. They weighed him, and he was 8 pounds, zero ounces, and 20.5 inches long. He has long dark hair, and is adorable. And you don't have to take my word for it.

After a bit, I saw the Grandmas eagerly (impatiently? excitedly?) awaiting info. This is the first grandchild on both sides, and they were both very eager to hear any updates. I walked out and told them the news: mom was doing well, but baby was not a girl. Baby was a boy. They didn't believe me. I told them to ask one of the nursing staff. The nursing staff confirmed that he was indeed a boy, and that the first grandchild on both sides is a grandson. For visual confirmation, we opened the diaper.

The at-that-point-unnamed-child had his first shots, and was put in an oxygen tent to help give him air. The doctor came over and started telling me about the previously-unknown complications. As it turns out it is literally a miracle that this baby didn't die in-utero. There were three major complications. First, the placenta had begun to calcify. That isn't all that unusual, except that our baby was a week early. That is a sign of fetal distress, and means that the baby isn't getting the needed nutrition. To understand the more serious second and third complications, you have to know that an umbilical cord is basically composed of two arteries, covered in a protective cord-like covering. Generally, an umbilical cord attaches to the middle of the placenta. A good connection is essential, since if severed, the baby would bleed out and die before you knew anything was wrong. Okay, so the second complication was that the umbilical cord was not implanted in the placenta. It was implanted on the membranes, or bag of waters. If the water had broken in the wrong spot, the baby would have died, and mom's life would have been in serious jeopardy. Third, the protective cord-like covering was missing over the last 5 inches of the umbilical cord, so the two arteries were totally exposed with no protection. In addition, the arteries didn't connect to the membranes before they spider-branched out, and connected to the membrane with many smaller veins rather than the large arteries. Apparently in many of these cases, the movement of the baby pinches or severs these little veins, and the baby bleeds out. I mean, the look on the doctor's face was worth a thousand words. The doctor basically said that a baby in this situation would not normally have survived in the womb, and most certainly wouldn't have survived a natural delivery. I can't tell you how many nurses that have come into the room and told us how lucky and blessed we are. He truly is a miracle baby.

Anyway, I stayed with Kiddo as they did the first shots and such. It took a couple of hours before they were ready to let him go meet mom. Finally, they let him go down to mom's room. Mom got to hold him for the first time, which was a lot fun for everybody. He tried to hang out for a while, but his monitors said he wasn't stable, so they took him back to the nursery.

He had fluid and meconium in the lungs, and he developed pneumonia. He also developed a slight case of jaundice. They put him on a billy-bed for light therapy. His infection blood results were quite high, and they were double checked by a different hospital, so he will be on antibiotics for another week or so. They are carefully watching for meningitis, although the pediatrician is very positive saying she is almost certain that isn't what he has. She thinks that the antibiotics will kick-in in the next 24 hours, and he should be able to come off oxygen.

They have been watching him very closely in the nursery. Until this afternoon (Monday) they haven't even let him come out to feed, so C has been heading down to feed him every couple of hours. I was lucky enough to find a wi-fi internet connection here at the hospital, so its been fun to feel a bit more connected to the outside world.

We hadn't picked a name when we came to the hospital, which turned out to be kind of a good thing, but we hadn't even considered little boy names. Finally, C and I sat down together on Saturday and picked a name. We chose N-------l because, well, first we really liked the name. Second we loved the meaning: "Gift from God." He truly is a gift from God. He is lucky to have lived through birth. Not so many years ago, he probably wouldn't have made it. Even considering the marvels of modern medicine, if a couple of things hadn't gone just right, we could have been in big trouble. I can't tell you how many ways that might have gone wrong. But God was gracious and gave us a wonderful blessing and gift.

So we are counting our blessings, recognizing how lucky and blessed we are to have a happy, mostly-healthy-baby boy.

Mom is doing very well; she's tired, but recovering well. She will be released tomorrow. Kiddo probably doesn't get to come home right away. We're hoping it will maybe only be an extra day.

Thank you, all of you, for your prayers and support during this time. The outlook today is fantastic. Kiddo just needs a little extra help to get off to the best start possible.

So that is the story of how Kiddo came into the world.

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Sunday, December 03, 2006

A late post again...

Its late again, and I only slept four hours last night, and its going to be few again tonight. I'm still promising a longer post later. But good news: we have a name: I'm reticent to post it here to keep the search engines away. I'll tell you this: it starts with N, is one of the original 12 disciples, and the name means "Gift of God", which we truly think fits this beautiful baby boy. Hopefully that was enough. If not, go pull out your New Testament. This isn't a hard quiz here.

N, who I shall call Kiddo, is doing okay. He is still in the nursery being closely monitored. There is some danger that he has developed/will develop pneumonia, so they are paying close attention, and not letting him leave the nursery at all. But hopefully tomorrow he'll turn the corner and might even get to stay in mom's room.

I am still reeling in shock. I was so sure this was a girl. Crazy crazy.

I'm going to bed. Kiddo and Mommy are both good. I'm probably the best of the three of us, and I'm getting delirious for lack of sleep so I'll try to write more tomorrow.

Ooooh. I think I'll try to post more pics tomorrow too. So check back.

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Saturday, December 02, 2006

First pictures

My images aren't working properly. I don't see my toolbar. Let me see if I can get around it here....







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HOLY COW!!

Oh my goodness. It has been an interesting day. I'm exhausted and can hardly think straight. You aren't going to get the details yet, because I can't handle it. But WE HAVE A BABY! And the biggest surprise of it all is that it is a baby BOY, not the baby GIRL we were promised!!

C is doing great. She had to have a C-section. Baby very nearly almost didn't make it. But is doing much better tonight. (C didn't get to see the baby for the first five hours or so... But more on this story later.) We have been _so_ blessed. The Lord' hand is pervasive in this story. This little boy is only alive because of literal miracles from God and modern medicine. This is a baby that wouldn't have survived in days gone by. But he did! And he's ours! And I'm so happy and I'm so exhausted and I can't keep going tonight.

I promise: more info coming at some soon point. I'll also get some pictures. He is ADORABLE! 8 pounds, and 20.5 inches. A head of black hair. And he's perfect. And I'm so greatful to the Lord for his marvelous blessings.

Good night!

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Friday, December 01, 2006

Guess we'll go see

We're going to go get checked out at the hospital. I'm not so sure that it is the time yet, but we'll go find out.

Wish us luck!!

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Is today the big day?

So last night the contractions started at much more regular intervals. I was able to sleep for the majority of the night, but C couldn't sleep until after 4:00 because of the contractions. Now they are ranging from 3 to 9 minutes in duration. How do you know when to go to the hospital? How do you know when they are strong enough or close enough? I mean, at 4 minutes, but irregular, is it often enough? How strong should they be? Do they have to be strong enough that you can't talk?

They talk about these things in advance, but I'm not sure the pat answers were really all that helpful.

Is the baby coming today? I dunno. But I'll keep you posted.

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Thursday, November 30, 2006

Still hanging out

Just a quick update to let you know that we are still hanging out. No real substantial news since yesterday. Well, I guess I could mention that C passed the mucus plug this morning. But that doesn't give any real timing indication yet. We could seriously still be three weeks away.

Part of me says, "Whew! Three more weeks would be great! There is so much to do." But another, louder part of me says, "Lets get this baby here!"

Here's hoping it will be sooner rather than later, because this is getting really uncomfortable for C...

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Wednesday, November 29, 2006

The one week countdown

So we're on the one week countdown. Okay, maybe not officially, since C isn't due until a week from tomorrow, but I'm anxious eager for the baby's arrival. Well, come to think of it, I'm anxious and eager.

So we went to the doctor today for the weekly checkup. C is 70% effaced and 3 cm dilated. I've read the books and done the prenatal class, so I'm at least familiar with these terms.

"So," I started. "Do you think we'll be back for our weekly appointment next Wednesday?"

"Well," he replied, "Maybe. Its hard to tell. Baby will come when she is ready. She could come today. She could come in two weeks. We just can't tell."

"But, based on your experience?" I prodded.

"Well, if I had to bet on it, I'd say you probably won't be back to see me for your next weekly appointment. We'll probably be seeing each other in the delivery room before then."

Aha! I pinned him down. Well, almost.

Funny thing is that C finished her thesis (big YAY!!!) this week, and got permission to defend early, so she is defending on Tuesday of next week (unless there is a surprise in the mean time). When C told her doctor this, he laughed and said, "Kind of cutting it close, aren't we?"

To which C responded, "Well, the committee wanted to schedule it for Thursday (the due date), so I thought Tuesday was a pretty good deal."

"Well, your water may break during your defense."

Wouldn't THAT make a great horror story for future generations....

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Thursday, November 23, 2006

Bad Example

I was in Super Wal-Mart the other day, walking through the baby section, which happens to be right next to the frozen foods section when I overheard an interesting conversation, of sorts.

It happened about four aisles over, so as you can imagine, it wasn't the quietest of conversations. I heard a young child crying. What he was crying over, I'm not sure, but his dad was having a hard time soothing him. Apparently it was getting kind of frustrating, because the next thing I heard was this daddy losing control and shouting, "DAVID! JUST CALM DOWN FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!" (Remember, I'm hearing this from four aisles away.)

I'm thinking that this was a bad example of parenting. I'm thinking to myself, "Hmmm. If I'm David, and my dad starts shouting at me, I'm not thinking I'm going to be calmer for the experience."

Then I'm thinking: "Hmmmm. Do you think David is going to follow Daddy's example and get more roused up? Probably."

Poor David. It was a no-win situation. There is no way David is going to get calmer the more that Dad loses his cool.

I hope I'll be a daddy who can can keep his cool. I'm sure it seems easier from this side of the fence.

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Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Just two more weeks!

This is getting so close that I'm getting giddy. I can't wait for this baby to come. I'm so excited to be a dad -- even if it means sleepless nights and poopy diapers and baby spit-up.

I have this aversion to all bodily fluids (and solids, too, for that matter), so the fact that I'd be excited about changing a diaper is kind of funny. But I'm excited for all of it. I'm ready for the whole shebang, if you know what I mean.

At the doctor's office for the weekly visit today we found out that C is 50% effaced, and dilated to one centimeter. That doesn't mean that this baby is coming any time soon--chances are good she'll still hang out until her Dec 7th due date--but at least we know that things are progressing normally. C's body is doing whatever 38-week-pregnant bodies do at 38 weeks.

We have a car seat, so my mom can stop freaking out. Seriously, about three weeks ago my mom called me on the phone and asked if we had a car seat yet.

"Not yet" I replied.

"You do realize that you can't take the baby home unless you have a car seat installed in your car, don't you?" My mom asked.

I'm trying to figure out if that was a real question. I mean, of course we know this. Does she honestly think we don't understand this? Or does she think that we would ever consider taking the baby in a moving vehicle without a car seat?

"Yes mom, I realize this. But we've still got five weeks. And even if the baby were to make an early appearance, I could still drop by Babies'Я'Us and get a car seat."

Seriously.

But she ended up buying us a car seat, so I shouldn't complain. She took us shopping and let us pick the one we wanted. That was pretty cool. So thanks, Mom. I appreciate it.

I kept hoping the baby would come early, but BW is hoping to get her thesis sign-off today. If not today, then for sure on Monday. At this point, the baby can come anytime after the thesis has been signed off. Even if that means a week late. I'll just be glad that the thesis is done.

Two more weeks! Horay!!

Don't worry, I'll post pictures. :)

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Tuesday, November 14, 2006

A graduation of sorts

So last night we had the final "Lamaze" class. I put it in quotes, because at the end of it, I'm not sure why it was categorized as a "Lamaze" class. Really, it was a third-trimester class. We discussed Lamaze only on the first week, and only for part of the time. That was a disappointment for me because we were hoping to get more information on natural birthing options. As it was, all I could tell was that our instructor favored natural birthing, but didn't really care what we decided to do.

Here's the roundup.

Week 1: Overview of pregnancy; Nutrition throughout pregnancy; Trimesters; some breathing, massaging, and relaxation exercises.

Week 2: Stages of labor; "the video"

Week 3: Epidurals; spinal blocks; tour of the hospital maternity ward

Week 4: Newborn care; Postpartum care; 10-minute refresher on recommended breathing patterns during contractions.

It was an interesting class, but it wasn't a "Lamaze" class. That's too bad, since we paid almost double the price of the third-trimester class with little to no information about Lamaze. I expected some Lamaze-specific material, tips on breathing with follow-up on subsequent weeks, homework on breathing, stuff like that. For a third-trimester class, it was really good. For a Lamaze-specific class, it was, um, lacking.

Other than that, I'm glad we took the class. I learned a lot of information, and I feel a lot more confident about the concept of birth than I did four weeks ago. I think that I might be able to get through it without passing out, which would be a bonus. I think I'm even going to try to cut the cord myself. This is a major step up. So this class has, after all, been a good thing.

So I think we're ready; at least in terms of knowing more about what to expect. I feel ready, I guess; as ready as we're going to be, since you're probably never _ready_. BW (Beautiful Wife) still needs to finish her thesis, but that will happen this week. Which is coincidentally the week BW hits the 37 week mark, which is considered "full-term." We had a lady at our church on Sunday tell us that you can just tell when somebody is ready for labor, and BW apparently has that look. She thought that BW might have her baby even this week. You could just see it in BW's face, apparently.

I hope not. We still haven't picked a name.

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Monday, November 06, 2006

Five Weeks to Go

This week we had our second (of four) Lamaze classes at the hospital where we expect our little girl will be born sometime in the next five weeks.

I was proud of myself. This was the class where we had to watch "the video" and I think I handled it amazingly well, thank you very much. It will be interesting to see what actually happens, but I'm thinking that this will be a good experience all the way around. At least I hope it will be. You can't prepare for every possible situation, and I frankly, there are some I'd rather not prepare for because they are too scary, but in general, I'm an optimist, so I expect that our case will be like most and everything will be okay.

Anyway, the class was good. We talked a lot about the procedure of birth and the stages and stuff. There was a lot of it that was new information for me, and I'm glad to have more of an understanding of what to expect.

I haven't said anything here yet, but a recent comment made me decide to tell you that we've decided to use a non-traditional birthing method. We are preparing to do a hypnotic birthing, following the "Hypnobabies" course. I'm really excited about it, and think ti will be a very powerful, positive experience. I have no expectation that we will fail, but it is nice to know that if something unexpected *does* occur, we are in the hospital and can have necessary intervention.

We talked to the Lamaze instructor after the class on Monday and asked her about how supportive the hospital staff will be with the decision to use hypnobirthing techniques. She was very positive about it and said the hospital would be very supportive. Even better, she knew that our doctor in particular is very supportive of women who choose alternative birthing options. That was encouraging, because we haven't talked to him about it yet. In fact, he asked on the very first appointment if we were planning on an epidural or a natural birth, and we said we didn't know. He has never brought it up again. Neither have we. (We will at our next appointment on Wednesday.) So it is nice to know that he will be on board with us. What we need to be successful is people supporting the decision, rather than a bunch of critics saying how hard it is going to be. So I'm glad he'll be on our team.

It was also nice to have the Lamaze instructor (who is also a head nurse [I forget the correct term] in the labor and delivery department) tell us that if we requested a birthing nurse who is familiar with hypnobirthing that we could get a nurse who will be supportive of us.

In the end, we started the course a little late, but BW (beautiful wife) is working on the courses at an advanced pace, and all seems to be going well. I also got a CD with scripts for the birthing partner that I get to use.

I hope you aren't bored by this whole explanation. I'm just excited about the decision and am really excited about welcoming a little baby girl into the family sometime in the next month or so. Yay!!

Now I just need to practice relaxing -- which is hard when you are as excited as I am .

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Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Breathe in -- breathe out

I survived our first prenatal class.

It wasn't that bad, actually, except for the part where the woman behind us kept talking about how she is on blood thinners, and she has to give herself shots, and she just jabs the needle straight into her belly, and she is worried that she might puncture the sac and start spewing forth amniotic fluid, which she thought might have happened earlier today because the fluid that came out was white (her DH thought it was kind of cloudy), and what color was amniotic fluid anyway? (Now picture me turning green in the face, my wife leaning over and asking, "are you going to be okay?")

I so don't have the stomach for childbirth. A full 12 hours after the event, and it still makes me sick to my stomach to listen to.

The more I think about it, the more I'm glad that my wife is planning on a natural birth (assuming all goes as planned). I don't think I can handle LOOKING at the epidural needle, never mind being in the same hospital as my wife when she were to get the shot.

I think the thing my wife learned last night that she liked the most was that birthing room 1 in our hospital has an in-room jacuzzi. She wanted to know if we could call ahead and reserve the room.

(Me on the phone: "Yes, hospital? Labor and Delivery please. Yes. I'll hold.... Yes, Labor and Delivery? Oh good. Hey, we're planning a birth in 6 weeks, well, we're due in six weeks, and we wondered if we couldn't just schedule birthing room 1 for sometime that week. In fact, just block off the whole week for us, okay?")

Joking aside, it was a good class, albeit long (2.5 hours). I should have thought to bring snacks, as we were both starving at the end.

The class covered a bunch of stuff we already knew (don't smoke, drink, do drugs, take over-the-counter drugs, and be sure to take a multi-vitamin). Truth be told, it was actually kind of late for that kind of advice. (Birth is "scheduled" in 6 weeks, 2 days, lest you forget.) Then she talked about eating healthy, and all the kinds of food you should and shouldn't be eating.

This part was amusing because I've been doing Weight Watchers now for about 8 months, and I've become very aware of the food I eat and the quantity I eat. The class leader was talking about how easy it is to get your grains, and she said, "do you realize that a serving of cold cereal is just a half a cup? That is like this much" and she made a small cup with her hand. "Nobody ever eats just one serving of cold cereal. I'm sure you all eat at least 3."

And I'm thinking to myself, "Well, the cold cereal I had this morning is 3/4 cup for one serving, which is 30 grams. I had about 35 grams plus milk, so I think I came pretty close to my one serving."

So while I think the nutrition part is important, it wasn't new information for either my wife or myself.

Then we did the massaging (my wife loved this part). We ended with some relaxation techniques, something along the lines of hypno-birthing. That was really interesting, and it is something we want to look more into. It's not voodoo-ish or anything. It's just a relaxation technique where you learn to relax yourself and be aware of what is happening in your body, and then when labor happens, you work with your body instead of against it. It was very interesting, and very relaxing.

All in all, it was a good class. Now our prenatal classes are 1/4 over. Which is a good thing, because by the time class is done, we will be within 2 weeks of our "scheduled" delivery.

I better go reserve birthing room 1. Jacuzzi here we come!

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Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Pushing 8 Months

Maybe this post should be called "8 Months and Pushing." It kind of works either way.

Here's the story. Yesterday BW (Beautiful Wife), who as you remember is in her 8th month of pregnancy, was driving our truck. She parked it in front of our condo, but forgot to turn off the lights. When she went back out at 3:15 to head to her 3:30 appointment, she realized she couldn't start the truck because the lights had been left on (notice the passive construction).

She called me in a panic at work. I told her if she could get somebody to push the truck, she could pop the clutch. She told me she'd figure it out. Here's what she figured out: She (the 8-month-pregnant-she) pushed the truck out of its parking spot, and got it pointed down hill. The she started to push it, but couldn't get it going fast enough. A guy who was taking out the trash saw her and offered to help. So she got in and he pushed, but BW couldn't get the clutch to pop. So SHE SWITCHED PLACES WITH THE GUY.

Here is BW, standing at the back of the truck, pushing it, while this random neighbor pushed from the driver's side. After they got it moving fast enough, the guy jumped into the truck and popped the clutch.

BW called me on the phone, panting, almost unable to speak, quite proud of what she'd done. I was dumbfounded. She assures me that she wouldn't have (and this is a direct quote) "pushed it too far, both literally and figuratively."

But she did hurt in various places last night. I'm still not sure it was a wise thing to do. But I sure wish we'd gotten a picture.

You know, it was one of those experiences where its pretty funny afterwards because nothing bad came of it, but if something awful had happened, we'd look at it and say "Boy, that was dumb." But remember, she promises that "[she] wouldn't have pushed it too far."

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Friday, October 13, 2006

An impatient daddy's ramblings

We have started the 33rd of 40 weeks. It might as well be 400 weeks. Those who have been there recently tell me that the last month can't go by fast enough. I am wondering about the last two months ... :)

I'm so ready for this baby girl to get here. In fact, I'm impatient for it to happen.

I know, I know. I should have learned patience right now. I remember that while serving as a missionary, people would always tell me, "Elder, the Lord is trying to teach you patience." Well, I want to hurry up and learn it already, because I'm tired of waiting!

No, really, we are excited for the baby's arrival. Still no name yet, and that's really because we haven't chosen one, not because we're just not telling. Although I will tell you that there are a couple that we really like. But I don't think a decision will be made until she decides to make her appearance.

C is starting to get to the uncomfortable phase of her pregnancy. She has to get up multiple times a night to take care of business. Plus, she can't sleep unless she has like 4 pillows and three blankets strategically placed on, around, under, and over her. You gotta feel sorry for her. It doesn't look like much fun, but she is a trooper and doesn't complain (much at least). She is much more worried right now about her master's thesis, which she is trying to finish before the baby comes. She actually hopes to finish it, defend, and turn in any revisions before the baby comes, so she isn't feeling like 8 weeks sounds all that far away. Of course, when I think about it in work terms, I don't think it seems that far away either. We've gone one cycle left in our agile development process before our release date, and that is right before the baby is due (and the same weekend that C wants to defend her thesis).

Our next-door-neighbor came over last night to borrow something, and she told us that they found out that they are expecting. She's only about 6 weeks along (which is crazy pregnancy math that counts two weeks as if you were pregnant when any rational person can tall you is malarkey...). She said she is due in early June. My first thought was, "June. That is so far away!" My next thought, "Well, early December's not so bad, I suppose."

So I keep going back and forth. Sometimes 8 weeks seems like forever, and sometimes it seems like there is a slight chance it might go somewhat faster than I worry that it won't (if that makes sense). I always laugh at those people who tell me, "It will be here before you know it." I have to think to my self that it's like telling the mother of a departing missionary that her child will be home before she knows it. A mother of a missionary feels every day. So does an expectant parent. At least when that expectant parent is me.

by really, its going to be great. I'm so excited!! I can't wait.

Is it December 7th yet? Is it December 7th yet?

(I wonder if I could bribe St. Nikolaus to hook up with the stork for his rounds on December 6th. I'd clean my Nikolaus-Stiefel really good, I promise!!)

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Monday, October 09, 2006

The Best Thing Since Sliced Bread

Yesterday my beautiful wife (BW for short) said to me: "You're the best thing since sliced bread," an idiom that I've heard before, but never applying to me.

This set me to thinking. If I'm the best thing since sliced bread, does that mean I play second fiddle to an overgrown yeast reaction cut up into thin pieces? I thought about all the possibilities. Maybe it was just a hyperbole wherein the exaggeration was "since sliced bread" meaning since, like, forever, you know? Then I thought, "maybe she really means it." Then I thought, "well, I could ask the blog world what she means." Then I thought, "I could just ask her what she means."

So I went back into where she was, and I said, "You know how you said I was the best thing since sliced bread?"

"Mmmmhumm"

"Well, does that include or exclude sliced bread?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I mean am I better than sliced bread or not?" I enquire, trying not to look too concerned by the matter.

"I'm gonna have to go with the sliced bread on this one."

"Uh huh." I wonder if I should be concerned.

"So, this sliced bread fetish.... What's so great about an overgrown yeast reaction cut up into thin pieces?"

She responded by telling me about how on her mission in Russia, they didn't have sliced bread. So basically, I'm the best thing that has happened to her since her mission.

I'm okay with that explanation. (It does leave my ego intact, which is a bonus...) We've talked about how we are glad we met when we did. We are grateful for the life experiences we were able to have before we met such that we were the people we were when we met. The version of BW that I fell in love with is the post-mission, post-foreign-exchange experience BW. The version of me that she fell in love with is the version who went though all of my life experiences up to that point. Take away any of those life-shaping experiences, and what you're left with is a different person.

So, with that in mind, I'm okay that I'm the best thing to happen to her since sliced bread. Ok. Cool.

And dear, for the record, you're the best thing to happen to me since the killer rat-infested, monstrous cockroach laden, sewer-flooded streets of Brazil, too. I love you! :)

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Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Empty your pockets!

My wife has a purse. In it, she gets to carry about anything. This isn't news to most of you; I've seen other blog posts where women empty their purses on the table and list everything they find in it. So I know that a lot of women carry a lot of junk in their purses.

I thought that being a man, I was somehow above this encluttering practice. See, I don't carry a purse (big surprise here, I know). So I must be exempt from whatever law it is that turns purses into portable junk drawers, right?

Nope.

Turns out, I have a suit. My suit is my purse, after a manner of speaking. Well, we can call it my portable junk drawer. I think I prefer that term. My wife and I teach a local institute class, so I end up wearing my suit at least twice a week, and I've gathered a lot of stuff in my suit coat.

I've been thinking about this for a while now. My suit has a total of 9 pockets. My brother and I attended Priesthood Meeting at the Conference Center on Saturday evening. After we got home, I decided to catalogue everything in my portable junk drawer (I mean suit) pockets.

Here is the list.

  • Watch
  • Subway flier with three coupons, one used
  • 3 Kleenex (1 used, two new)
  • six pens
  • funeral mints (Altoids)
  • balloon
  • cell phone
  • wallet (we won't even go into the stuff that is in this mini-portable-junk-drawer)
  • church keys (external, chapel, organ) on carabiner key chain
  • USB thumb drive
  • chap stick: (lip moisturizer variety, classic flavor)
  • chap stick: (lip moisturizer variety, vanilla mint flavor)
  • yellow tithing donation slip receipt
  • Costa Vida magnet (from the Gateway Costa Vida restaurant)
  • Post-it note with e-mail address of institute secretary
  • Lanyard with attached institute parking card
  • car keys
I think the strangest thing in my pockets is probably the balloon. It is in my pocket because we used it as part of an institute object lesson. The most sentimental thing in my pocket is the Altoids tin of funeral mints. These were the mints my sister's roommate gave us at my father's funeral. She thought we might appreciate having them while we were in line at the viewing, and then at the graveside. Somehow I haven't been able to take them out of my pocket yet.

So, what's in your portable junk drawer? Empty your pockets and purses. I want to know what you are toting around with you.

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Thursday, September 21, 2006

The attitude of a two-year old

I was listening to my iPod the other day on my way to work, and one of the songs in my playlist begged to be blogged about. We negotiated, and I lost. So here I am, bending to the will of the song and writing about it.

There is a very funny song by Ryan Shupe and the Rubberband. It's called "Two-year Old Attitude." (See end of post for help on finding the song online.)

This song cracks me up. If you haven't heard it, it is a father describing his two-year old son's attitude. It includes lines like the following:

Now that he is two years old,
He thinks he is some kind of king.
Goes where he wants, He does what he wants
and gets into everything.
'Cauz wait until you get into a church
or a store or another public place,
and then he'll pout and he'll shout and
he'll rant and rave and he'll cry and
he'll scream until he his red in the face--
He's got a serious, serious,
serious, serious
Two-year old attitude.
I think this song cracks me up, in part, because I don't have a two-year old, but I have seen what they can be like. (But hey, maybe the song isn't so funny if you've had to endure toddler meltdown at Target. I dunno.)

But just wait. I'm sure my time will come.

In the mean time, enjoy the song.


Finding the Song online:

The song is available on iTunes; If you have iTunes you can click this link (or search the iTunes music store for): "2 yr. old attitude".

The sample that plays in iTunes, however doesn't include a part of the song where they are actually singing, though, so if you want to hear some of the words, you'll have to try one of these options:
  1. Yahoo music. Search Yahoo Music for Ryan Shupe (clicking the link will perform the search for you automatically). At the bottom of the page there is a list of songs. Two Year Old attitude is there, and you can hear a sample. (Its the button with the headphones icon.)
  2. Ryan Shupe website. Go to the music page of the Ryan Shupe website. The second album, "If I were a bird" includes the song, and from there you can hear a sample of this particular song. (Requires Quicktime.)

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Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Preparing for Pre Natal

You might think that it doesn't make sense to prepare for prenatal. I mean, isn't that what the prenatal phase is for? Preparation for the natality of your child? Is natility even a word? My dictionary says no, but I'm going to be descriptive here and use it anyway.

But that is the phase we are in, right now. We are preparing for prenatal classes. Third trimester prenatal classes to be specific. This is the class that we hear horror stories of.

Let's just say I get a bit queasy around blood. Ok, I get super queasy at the thought of blood. So I'm not really looking forward to that part of the birthing process. But I think that it is one thing to have to watch it for your own child. It is totally something different to watch a video of somebody else going through it.

The thought of it makes me shiver.

But lest you think I'm totally uneducated (which, in truth, I pretty much am), I do recognize that prenatal classes are more than just a video of child birth. In fact, there are a number of different types of classes you can attend. Apparently there are different philosophies about child birth. There is Bradley and there is Lamaze.

Do you realize that these are weekly classes you go to for like 6 weeks?

Hmmm. And how do you determine which class you are going to go to? I mean, if they were an hour a piece, you could go to multiple ones, but really, I can't go to all the different varieties of classes when they are 6 week courses.

We haven't signed up yet. We have to decide first which type of class to attend. Lamaze seems to be pretty popular. At least, it was the only method I'd ever hear about before I was like 22. Then I had a supervisor who was a former Bradley instructor and proponent. And today, my wife got a message from a friend that included the following Bradley advocation (you know, from the root "advocate"): "On the good side - it is the best thing that has happened to child-birth in the last 40 years...at its worst - you leave being VERY educated about everything involved. I can't suggest it more highly."

So now I turn to you, oh experienced web of friends: What methods do you propose? Why?

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Tuesday, September 19, 2006

11-ish weeks and counting

Well, with delivery planned in just over 11 weeks, things feel like they are finally picking up in pace. Eleven weeks sounds like forever, but I think it is going to go by very quickly.

Now C is in the third trimester, and things are going great. There are currently no signs of any complications and our little girl seems to be doing great. She keeps C up at all hours of the night, probably helping her to get ready for weeks of sleepless nights after she arrives. I don't get any such early preparation, but I suppose that is okay. I don't mind sleeping through the nights now, even knowing that I won't get to in December. Poor C, though, doesn't get much choice.

C recently went to visit her family in another state. While she was there, her mom hosted a baby shower for friends and relatives. It took an extra suitcase, and an extra duffle bag to get all the generously-given gifts back home. And I've never seen so much pink in my whole life. There are pink outfits and pink blankets. Pink dresses and pink pants. Pink undershirts (I think they call these things onesies?) and pink bibs. Pink receiving blankets (I'm still not sure what you use a receiving blanket for yet...). It's all pretty cool. But it makes the pending arrival all that more real.

You know, it is kind of weird. For C, every moment of every day (and night, for that matter) is spent being pregnant. It is always on her mind, because she is carrying the baby with her all the time. For me, however, it isn't an ever-present kind of thing. I think about it when it comes up, but I don't spend every minute of every day anticipating the blessed event. Don't get me wrong; I'm not saying I'm not excited, because I am. It just isn't an ever-present thought. Sometimes it kind of surprises me when I remember. But all these baby clothes around the house are making it seem more real.

We made our first joint trip to Babies R Us last week. Wow. They have a lot of stuff. We looked at clothes and strollers and baby monitors, and binkies and cribs and changing tables and mattresses. Wow. wow. wow. Talk about overwhelming. How am I ever supposed to make a decision on anything when there are 40,000 options for each thing?

I think we have narrowed the stroller options down, though. We are looking at a Mclaren, but are also considering the Pliko. Babies R Us had the Mclarens in stock, and I loved that as a 6'4" dad, I won't have to bend over to push it. The Pliko got great reviews on one of the web sites I read, but I haven't found one in stock yet to try out.

Fun fun fun!

Stay tuned for my next post on planning for the 3rd trimester classes...

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Friday, August 25, 2006

Rambling, Jumbled Thoughts

Well, we made it through the rest of the alphabet. We came up with some interesting names, and I think that there are a couple that we really like that we'll keep thinking about. We'll see.

The delivery date is starting to loom. In some ways, December sounds SO FAR away. Then, in others, it seems that there is so much to do that at the pace we're going, none of it is ever going to get done. I think that on C's next appointment, the doctor is going to tell us to go to prenatal classes. Hmmmmm... Not sure what I think about that. I'm trying to reserve judgement, and I'm being mostly successful. On good days.

So, C and I will have the first grandchild on both sides of the family, which is fun. I think it means that Baby L (its an L day again) will get more spoiled. I think it also means that her arrival will require some, shall we say 'getting used to' for certain members of our family. My younger brother, who is in his early twenties, has never been around babies, and isn't comfortable when they are nearby. He most certainly doesn't want to touch one (egad!).

A couple of weekends ago we went boating at a local lake. My cousin, his wife, and their 9 month old baby boy were all there with us. My brother wasn't sure what to make of a 9 month old. He thought it was weird that it was in the in between stage: not quite infant, not quite toddler. "They come in that size?" he wanted to know. Well, no. But they do GROW to be that size .

It will be interesting to see how he behaves as an uncle. I'm thinking that it will take some getting used to for him, but that in the end he will adjust.

Well, we are now in the 26th week. Now I've started having dreams that C goes into labor early. Last night I dreamed that she went into labor this week. It was not a good dream. Twenty six weeks is way too early. I awoke this morning with the panic of the event still giving me a sick feeling in my stomach.

My guess is that this dream came about because C spent the evening last night saying that she hadn't felt Baby L moving all evening, and it was making her nervous. Apparently it made my subconscious nervous as well.

No worries there, though, because this morning Baby L is active again and moving. C describes the movements as Baby L adjusting the reading lamp. Ooooh! I hope Baby L likes to read.

Well, this has been kind of a rambled jumble of thoughts this morning. Not very focused on any specific event, but these are some of the thoughts I've been having over the last couple of weeks.

C has her last "4-week" appointment next week. After that, she switches to the 2-week schedule. So that will be exciting. This is getting close.

I guess I better get the boxes out of the spare room. It won't be spare for much longer.

We hope.

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Thursday, August 03, 2006

The Name Game, an ABC exercise

As you know, we are expecting a baby girl sometime in December. About a month ago, we went in for the twenty-week ultrasound appointment. The ultrasonographer and C's doctor were both almost certain that the new addition will be a girl.

Because we now know the gender, apparently we are supposed to be thinking of names. Everybody we meet asks us if we have picked a name yet.

"Can't you give us a little time?" I silently wonder? After all, we are barely half way there! But just about everybody asks us "the question" when they know the gender and find out how far along we are.

Dealing with this has been harder than I anticipated. From the very beginning, C and I decided that we didn't want to talk publicly about the names we liked or had chosen. For some reason, people seem to think that if the baby hasn't been born yet, then they can give whatever opinion they want about the name that you have selected.

Everybody, it seems, thinks that we care about their opinion.

Frankly, we don't. Not to be rude, but I'm not going to give my child a different name because your best friend in elementary school had a dog with the name we like.

Guess what? I don't care. We are going to pick the name that feels right and sounds right to us. Our neighbors, friends, and well-meaning relatives are invited to keep their opinions to themselves.

However, I can't come right out and say that to them. So instead, I found a way to deflect the question whenever it comes up. I decided to go through the alphabet, one letter at a time, and each day we will think of girl names that start with that letter. We started with the letter A, and today we are on the letter K. When people ask us what names we're thinking about, we say something like, "Well, today is a K day. What girl names do you like that start with K?"

I've found that this is a pretty good solution. It deflects the conversation away from us having to provide the names we like, and instead, we get to let people give their input on names they like instead. They can give their opinion on names without us having to be the ones who provided the fodder for analysis.

Judgement of the names is left to us, which we can do, in private. And in case you are wondering, there is a name or two that we like above the others. But I'm not going to tell you what it is. December will arrive, the baby will be born, and her name will be announced to the world. Once it is announced and attached to a beautiful baby girl, people will have to keep their dislike of the name to themselves. Until then, we welcome your suggestions.

Kindly remember, however, that today is a K day. And if you ask what names we like, we'll try to deflect the question so subtly that you don't even realize we've done it, unless we tell you about it. Like this post: a paragraph that starts with each letter used so far; discovering names with a new letter every day.

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Monday, July 17, 2006

Seeing is believing

Do you have any idea how many babies there are around? And how many baby girls? A ton! Everybody, it seems, has a baby girl. And do you know what? Baby girls are adorable! Simply adorable, I tell you. And did I mention that they are everywhere? In every restaurant, at funerals, walking down the mall near my work, riding the train, at church. The list goes on.

How have I not seen this before?

This little girl has me wrapped around her little (very little) finger and she's still not due for 20 weeks! Not that I'm counting, but its only 143 more days. Just over 3400 hours.

But I'm not counting. No, not me. Never.

(How am I going to wait the two hundred and five thousand minutes until her arrival?? Agony, I tell you, agony.)

Can you tell I'm excited?

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Friday, July 14, 2006

It's a .....

We went in for the ultrasound yesterday, and I have to tell you it was an amazing experience. I kept wondering to myself if the ultrasonogropher ever gets tired of her job. I can't imagine that she would. We got to see the baby moving and kicking and it was amazing.

Oh, and by the way, they tell us that it is a girl. We are way excited. :)

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Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Movie Ratings

I don't go see a lot of movies. The most recent movie we saw in the theater was Cars, which admittedly wasn't that long ago. But we maybe go once every three months or so. All of this is just to say, we haven't been to see any of the new movies recently. All my intelligence on new movies has been gathered from a variety of sources, including my friend D.

I'll be honest. I don't think D is a very reliable source for a movie review. For example, I heard that the new installment in the Pirates of the Caribbean series is quite violent, and was long and mostly a waste of time. D loved the movie. When D was describing the movie to me, he told me that he thought the movie was so violent that 20 years ago it probably would have gotten an R rating. I said, "Well, then I'm really not interested in going to see it."

D said, "Well, it wasn't really that bad." Then he continued, "I mean, I wouldn't take anybody under eight years old to see it, because it was PG-13 for a reason."

D, can you run that by me again? Are we unclear on the concept?

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Friday, July 07, 2006

Developing a Taste for Good Food

According to the books we've read, by now little C Junior (or Paul Jr.; we hope to find out on Thursday) has developed taste buds, and is adjusting to the types of food that C is eating. Apparently this affects the baby's food tastes for years to come.

C told me this today at lunch while she was pouring on the vinaigrette dressing that I detest. "Stop!" I wanted to cry. "Don't train the baby to like yucky food like vinaigrette dressing! Give it ranch or blue cheese or something yummy!!"

C has recently been indulging her love for pickles, which I don't mind as long as she doesn't try to kiss me after words. I just don't do pickles or olives. Or vinaigrette (vinegar in general, actually). And absolutely no fresh tomatoes. This is basically C's diet lately.

Great. We're going to have a baby who craves pickles and olives with vinaigrette dressing with tomatoes (eaten like an apple, but with salt) for dessert.

If it were up to me, I'd be force feeding with marzipan cake. And watermelon. And all kinds of breads (whole wheat, of course). Plus Angel Food cake with lemon sauce, whip cream, and toasted almonds. Not to mention home-made ice cream. And ribs. Lots of spare ribs. Beef or pork; I don't mind. Are you salivating? I am. Just call me Pavlov's dog.

In the end, I think we're lucky it is C that is pregnant, and not me. Not only would I teach the child to love food that is horrible for you, but I'd eat it in such quantities that would make me blow up like a balloon.

So pass the tomatoes. I'll see if I can't roast them on the grill to make them edible.

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Thursday, July 06, 2006

Realistic Consequences

As a married couple without children, C and I have spent the better part of 3.5 years watching how other people parent. One thing we've learned from observation and personal experience (from when we were kids) is that when parents are warning their children of the consequences of an action, those consequences must be realistic and actionable.

For example, let's say you live in Salt Lake, and you go on a family trip to Disneyland. By the time you get to Las Vegas, the kids are so tired of driving that they are constantly bickering in the back seat and getting on everybody's nerves. In this situation, a parent might be tempted to threaten, "If you kids don't knock it off back there I'm going to turn this car around and we won't go to Disneyland!" I think they hope this will scare the kids into obedience, despite the fact that the park tickets are paid for and the hotel is already reserved. (And really, are you willing to spend the next 6 hours driving back to Salt Lake with the crying children who don't get to go to Disneyland?) Then don't threaten to turn the car around unless you are really going to do it.

My mother-in-law (MIL) had an experience as a child where her mom threatened to burn my MIL's crayons if my she didn't stop a particular behavior (I forget the details). The next time the behavior happened, mom remembered the threat and threw the crayons into the fire. She was willing to do what she threatened, and my MIL never forgot it.

As a parent, my MIL did the same thing with her children. C learned from an early age that her mom would follow through with threatened punishments. Once C was going to a friend's house. Her mom said, "Call me when you get there or you will have to come home." Upon arrival, C forgot to call home. Her mom called over and had her sent home. The next day the same thing happened: C was to call when she arrived, but forgot. Her mom called, and C was sent home. The third day when C got to the friend's house, she went to call her mom, but her friend's mom was on the phone so C couldn't use it, but said she'd come get C when she was done. C went to play and forgot about it. When my MIL called, the other mom said, "Oh, it was my fault. She came over to use the phone but I was on it, and I didn't go get her when I was done." My MIL asked how long she had been off the phone. The answer was more than five minutes. "Has C come back in those five minutes to use the phone?" No. "Send her home." It may sound harsh, but C learned that her mom was serious. If C didn't call, she had to come home.

When we are parents, I wonder how we will implement this in our own family. I've read all the books (hee hee), so I'm an expert on the subject (yeah right!); but I suppose that we'll try to be careful to only threaten realistic punishments that we're willing to live with the consequences of. Maybe we'll seem like big meanies, but at least our kids will know we are serious when we warn them of consequences.

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Wednesday, July 05, 2006

A historical look

So that you might understand us better, I thought I'd give you some historical context surrounding our family. C and I have been married for three and a half years. A little over a year and a half ago, C found out she was pregnant for the first time. Twelve weeks later, we were at her second doctor's appointment and the doctor was unable to find the baby's heartbeat; it was a missed miscarriage.

Before we found out that C was pregnant we had begun discussing options for adoption. It was an option we had been considering since before we were married. There wasn't anything that would suggest that we would have any kind of fertility issues, but we still had discussed our openness to adoption. We said that we wouldn't wait a long time without children before we considered the adoption option.

Well, a couple months shy of two years of marriage found us pregnant, and we decided that if something were to happen, then we wouldn't waste any time finding out more about adoption. About a week after the miscarriage, we met with our bishop (we found out that this step isn't required anymore) for a referral to LDS Family Services, and went in to an orientation not long after that.

We spent the next months getting our adoption profile ready, and in September our adoption profile was approved, and we became available as potential adoptive parents. Six months later, we found out that C was again expecting, so we called our adoption worker to have our profile put on hold, again with the expectation that if anything were to happen to the pregnancy, then we could easily re-activate our profile.

Now C is almost 5 months pregnant, and all seems to be going well. She had some heavy bleeding that started about a bit more than a month ago. The doctor saw her every two weeks for a while after making a diagnosis of low-lying placenta (apparently it's not really placenta previa until after 20 weeks). But today C had another appointment, and the doc thinks she's doing well enough to not come back for 4 weeks (the normal schedule at this point in the pregnancy). So that was great news. And we go to hear the baby's heartbeat again, which considering the history, is always a major relief.

Now we are just waiting for the ultrasound next week (it will be 2 days shy of 19 weeks when it happens), and we'll hopefully know the baby's gender.

What about adoption for us? Well, we still intend to adopt. But we don't know if we'll keep trying for an infant with FamServices, or if we'll go for an older child. There are a lot of options out there. We've been looking at some international adoption options as well. So we'll probably have kids "both ways" as one of our ward members put it. But that's a story for a different day.

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Monday, July 03, 2006

A nudge from within

As you can guess from the title, C has experienced the first baby kicks. We're very excited. Here's how she tried to explain it to me. She said it felt like being tapped by one of those little rubber reflex hammers, but from the inside of her abdomen.

Its only happened a couple of times, and never when I could feel it, but this is exciting. I think C is finally starting to believe that there really is somebody growing in there.

Next week we go for the fetal survey ultrasound that should tell us gender, if the little squirt isn't too shy. With me as the dad, I'm guessing that shyness won't be a problem.

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Friday, June 30, 2006

Manly Men and Daddies

Being a dad changes a guy. No doubt about it. Fatherhood has the power to take even a manly-man's man and turn him into a tender, playful, silly creature we call "Daddy." Now these manly-man's men won't admit it, but deep down, guys love the Daddy role.

Mind you, I'm not speaking from experience, yet. For now, I just have joyful anticipation of the blessed event. But I speak from observation. (Because lets face it. From this end of the spectrum, it's easy to look around you and see everybody else in all their follies and greatness. Plus, I've read the books, and I know all about it <grin>.)

Take for example, T, my neighbor. T is the manly-man's man. He's kind of gruff. He likes working on his car. He favors "wife-beater" style tank tops. From my perspective, he's a stereotypical guy. But get him talking about his three-year-old son and he melts. The other night, DW (is this the proper lingo for referring to my dearest wife?) was talking to T in the driveway, and T was talking about how fatherhood is hard, but it's the most rewarding thing he's ever done. His love for his kids is palpable. He's their Daddy and he loves it.

Then you've got my friend D, who gets positively gushy when it comes to his daughter. I don't know how many times I've had phone calls telling me about "important" firsts: like the first time she tried to grab the phone away from him while he was talking on it, and the first time she farted and then looked at Daddy to see him giggle with her.

At work, these guys maintain this façade of manliness, but you should have seen the way one of my co-workers bounced all over the last company party so he could show his little girl to all his work friends. It was adorable to watch.

Yep. Guys think that they are going to remain manly, but here's the secret: the best dads don't. At least not at home with the kids. At home they are Daddy.

At work, however? Well, that's a different story.

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Wednesday, June 28, 2006

A struggling friend

I have a good friend who is a new dad, and who recently purchased a home. D's wife and he were both working in order to afford the house they purchased, but D's wife lost her job last week. Now they are lost and confused. They felt that they had been guided by the Lord to help them make the financial decisions they'd made, but now they struggle with feeling abandoned by the Lord as everything is seeming to fall through.

As I've thought about D's situation, I have great empathy for what he is going through. His first concerns is that for the first time, he feels, he is unable to provide for his family. I've talked to my wife extensively about that concern. I work for a great company, and I make enough that we are able to get by, and we do quite well. We're tightening our belt a bit and are purchasing a new home, but we're going to be okay. We won't have the boats and other toys that some of our friends have, but we are okay with that. I'm okay with that. Mostly. And when I'm not, I talk to C about it. I've thought about trying to get a better paying job at a different company, because I don't want C to have to work in order for us to get by financially.

I mean, we believe the Proclamation on the Family that says the father is supposed to be the breadwinner, yet we look around at so many families were the moms have to work in order to meet the family's basic needs. (I won't even address the issue of needs vs. wants. For this discussion, we'll just assume that their perceived needs are, in fact, needs. Perception of need will have to be a different topic for a different day.) You want to be in the group where your income alone is enough, but life is so expensive that it is really hard to do that. I know some fantastic, faithful people who simply can't make it on one income. And I'm afraid that if that happens to me, I'll feel like a failure as a provider for my family.

One face of that failure may come as I'm unable to meet the wants of my children. I think that almost every parent eventually has to face the reality of not being able to give their child everything they would want to or hope to. Someday there will be a Christmas or a birthday where as I parent, I wasn't able to get the gift my child really wanted or I won't be able to provide the number of presents that my child wants, and I'm afraid that I'll feel like a failure as a provider. Why is that? I suppose it is because somehow we equate our showering our children with what they want as a measure of our love for them. Somehow we aren't showing them that we love them if we can't meet their every want.

When we catch ourselves thinking that way, its time to step back and recognize the fallacies in our thinking. Love is not equated with material wealth or possessions, nor the bestowal of wealth or possessions. The ultimate example of this is our Father in Heaven, who desires each of our ultimate happiness, and who is capable of providing us with material wealth, but doesn't give that gift to all of His children. Why? It's not because he doesn't love us. He wants our happiness, and knows what we need to do in order to obtain eternal happiness, and it's not to have material possessions.

But even understanding that principle doesn't make it easier to have to tell your child no, or to see the tear-filled eyes of the child that you'd give your very life for, but whose expectations weren't met. It's just hard to be a parent.

My friend D's other concern was about feeling abandoned by the Lord as everything seemed to fall through. Simply put, he thought that God told him to buy the house. He felt like God supported his decision to purchase a new car. He made these decisions after praying and asking for confirmation that it was the right decision. He felt at peace and felt a spiritual confirmation that he had made the right choices. So why is he going through this financial nightmare only a couple of months later?

Two scriptural examples come to mind. First, remember Abraham? God commanded Abraham to sacrifice Isaac. Abraham commanded to kill his son. Can you imagine what that would be like? Why did God give Abraham that commandment? Was it to see if Abraham would comply with the hardest commandment ever given to him? You have to say "no" if you believe God to be omniscient, because God had to have known what Abraham would do. So why give the commandment if (A) God knew Abraham would comply and (B) God never intended Abraham to go through with it? I believe that God was testing Abraham so that Abraham would know how far he was willing to go in the service of his God. Sometimes God has to test us even like Abraham, so that we see how much faith we will have in Him.

The other example is Nephi, who was instructed by the Lord to go get the plates from Laban. Nephi and his brothers, with their heavenly mandate, arrived in Jerusalem and went to do what the Lord commanded. But they failed, even though the Lord had instructed them to go, and they had the mandate of heaven. But did Nephi give up? No. The brothers followed Nephi and they took all the family's worldly possessions to exchange for the plates. Laban stole their goods and had his guards chase them out of the city. Did that change their mandate? No. Do you think they wondered why the Lord would command them to do something that they were apparently failing at? Maybe. Buy they persisted. Finally when it seemed hope was lost, on the third recorded attempt, they were successful. Remember: the whole time they had the mandate of heaven. But the Lord let them learn from the struggle for a while before he provided the way for them to accomplish what he commanded.

So to my friend D and to anybody else who struggles with a similar situation, I'd say: if you've been following the Spirit along the way, then trust that He's leading you in the right direction, even when it may look like the pathway is getting darker and narrower and harder. Struggling to get through life is part of the game. We just have to be like Abraham and Nephi and keep our eye on the goal and trust that God knows what He's doing. Because He does. I promise.

Someday you'll look back and see it too. But for now, we just have to trust Him.

And learn from Him. Because He's the ultimate Good Dad.

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Tone, Topics, and Theme

As I've contemplated what I want to cover on this blog, I've had to make some editorial decisions on what kinds of things I want to say, in what tone to say it, and what themes I want to stick to.

For example, do I want to share my religious affiliation, or do I want to be more neutral? How much information do I want to give about myself and my family? I already maintain a hybrid personal/professional blog, and I want to do something different with this blog.

I intend to try to maintain more anonymity with this blog. I'll only tell you my first name. I'll refer to my family members and friends by first initial only. I hope you don't think I'm cowering in the shadows, but I think that a more anonymous type blog will give me more freedom of expression, since I'm actually fairly easy to find online anyway.

I've also decided to not hide my religious affiliation. I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I don't intend to shove my beliefs down anyone's throat, but I think it is important for you to understand where I'm coming from, because my religious beliefs have helped me form the framework of my personal belief structure, my morals, and my outlook on life. So in this blog, as occasion dictates, you'll see LDS references, and you'll see that my beliefs and opinions are what they are in part because of the lens through which I see the world around me.

I share this with you so you will have a better understanding of where I'm coming from. This, however, is a parenting blog from a dad's perspective. That will the topic and theme. This will not be the place to discuss particular religious beliefs, and I won't approve comments that do so. Topics will be focused on the trials and joys of parenting. Comments that aren't inline with the posts will be deleted without ceremony.

Just so you know up front who I am and what I represent and how I plan to run things around here.

I hope you enjoy!

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Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Welcome to A Million Little Moments

So you found my blog. Welcome.

The idea behind A Million Little Moments (AMLM) came from a comment my wife made while we were driving home from my mom's house. My wife is about 17 weeks pregnant with our first child, and we were talking about children and how its the little things that seem to bring the greatest joy. Then C, my wife, said, "Its just a million little moments that all add up."

I created A Million Little Moments as a dad blog. My wife follows a number of mom blogs, particularly ones in the self-titled bloggernaccle, and I thought that it would be fun to start my own dad blog. A chronicle, if you will, of our own million little moments of parenthood.

So thanks for joining me. I hope you enjoy the ride.

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