A week of firsts

We had two firsts this week that I would have been happy to avoid altogether. Oh well, they won't be lasts, either.

First, Kiddo got sick.

I felt so bad for him. He felt lousy, lousy, lousy. This was evidenced by the fact that he simply lay on my chest without moving for hours at a time.

Second, Inexperienced Dad and I both got sick, along with a house guest of ours. Somehow we missed the memo that only one of should be allowed to get sick at a time. The only way we are surviving at all is because of a dear friend who came over and cleaned up throw-up for us and another who took kiddo all day today so we could sleep. They were two angels of mercy, who made this so much more do-able.

Tender mercies indeed.

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Would you like some advice with that salad?

So today I was out for lunch with a friend and I forgot to bring any toys for Kiddo to play with. I'll chalk that up to being new at the "busy boy" stage.

Anyways. I gave Kiddo a napkin to tear and chew (which if you asked him, he would prefer to the toy any day). I am chatting away and the man from the next table came over to me and told me that Kiddo was going to choke on the napkin if he tried to swallow. I thanked him for his attention.

Now I wasn't really offended. I will admit that I had been chatting more than I had been paying attention to the chewing of the napkin. And I did pull quite a wad out of his mouth. I rummaged around in the diaper bag and found Kiddo's sunglasses. He promptly took them of his head and played happily.

And then our concerned neighbor came over again to let me know that Kiddo was poking his eye with the sunglasses. I smiled and said, "I guess he'd better learn not to do that pretty quick." In my defense, they were child sunglasses and not particularly pointy. Kiddo is also getting coordinated enough that I'm not too worried about him accidentally gouging out his eyes.

Again I was not too offended. But later in the meal I did check to see if our neighbor was still there before I gave Kiddo the straw to play with. Maybe I should be more concerned about these things. Or maybe my neighbor should be less concerned. Who knows?

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Job Satisfaction

I love being a mom! I really do. I always thought I would love being a mom, but I am still somewhat surprised that the whole thing hasn't overwhelmed me. Of course, I'm only six months and 1 kiddo into the process, so maybe I'm just naive... On the other hand, I am hopefully learning things at a pace that will keep up with the challenges in parenting.

Some of the things that have allowed me to not get overwhelmed:

1. A wonderful, supportive husband. There is not enough space on this blog for me to explain how wonderful he is in supporting me at this mother thing. Suffice it to say he is the best dad/husband we could ask for.
2. I have ample opportunities to get out and do other things. I get to do tutoring a few days a week, I get out on my own every couple of days, etc.
3. I have many other things to focus on. Things which make mothering not as intense, but that don't distract me for long periods of time: I volunteer with a youth exchange program, with our church, etc.
4. I have absolutely the cutest little boy there is!
   

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Home Sweet Home

We just returned from a week long trip visiting the relatives. It was an 11-hour drive each way so I was a bit nervous to see how Kiddo would do.

He did great.

On the way there we drove much of the night and then slept in the car for a few hours before completing the last bit across the border. While Kiddo didn't love sleeping in his car seat, he did sleep quite well in our arms! =)

He took the change in schedule, unfamiliar surroundings, and many new faces right in stride. He charmed everyone, including his own parents.

He even made the mostly day trip home in good spirits; especially if someone was sitting next to him in the back seat.

I am glad to be back and on a bit more normal schedule, but we had a wonderful time and truly enjoyed all the relatives!

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Catching up

I know, I know! I am not behind, I am just getting started. But still... it is easy to feel a bit behind when you can't figure out what to eat or wear because grocery shopping and laundry haven't been done in at least forty-eleven weeks.

So, to catch up, I ...

• Went shopping for two hours in three stores (sans dh and kiddo) to buy ingredients for 7 recipes, each of which is at least doubled for the freezer

• Cooked one of the recipes furiously

• Wore the same clothes I wore yesterday so I that I would at least be covered while Kiddo and I
  

• Went to the Zoo for the whole afternoon and
  

• Left a whole pile of dirty dishes and piles of laundry

If you ask me, the Zoo was the best part.

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The Million Dollar Smile

Kiddo smiles a lot. At everyone he meets. It appears that he likes to smile. I would go so far as to say that he loves to smile. But in all reality, it is my opinion that what he loves is the reaction he gets from people when he smiles. He seems to have learned that smiling at people universally results in a return smile.

What is especially cute now is that he seems to be differentiating between people he knows (large unreserved smiles, often squeals of delight) and people he is meeting (slightly hesitant, waiting for a response). It is so fun to watch him interact.

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It is beginning....

Today I left Kiddo on the floor while I worked on a project a few footsteps away. I looked up after just moments and he had moved about 3 ft. to go after a container of wipes.

I'm not sure what the allure of wipes is, but I believe it is the belief that wipes belong to the set of objects called Not Toys. Did Kiddo roll from back to front the first time for a toy? No, it was for a plastic bag. Does a lost toy prompt to wiggle across the bed? No, it is an open book.

Given that our bottom shelves are currently filled with Not Toys, I'm giving them about 2 weeks.

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Graduation

Sorry we've been a bit quiet over here. Things sure aren't quiet in real life!

Today I graduated with my Master of Arts degree!!!!!!!! I am so excited for this milestone. It has been a long road (sometimes quite bumpy), but one I would not trade for anything.

I am so happy and proud of the things that have happened these last few months. I think this picture about sums it up for me...

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Matters of the Head and Heart

Some things I know with my head but don't always know with my heart (or show by my actions)...

1) Things always look better in the morning (though lately a few hours of sleep will do the trick).

2) I always feel better once I have gotten out of bed.

3) I am always happier when I do the chore instead of avoiding it by taking a "much needed" break.

4) As a parent, I can only influence by my actions and decisions, not guarantee.

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The Physical and Spiritual

I've been reading the most recent issue of Segullah, which is dedicated to the topic of our mortal tabernacles. The essays are thoughtful and inspiring. And so I have been thinking about bodies.

One of the things I think is most amazing about my physical body is what it has taught me about my spirit. I am able to understand the spiritual concepts that run parallel to hunger, feasting, being filled, etc. because of my bodily experiences.

When I was pregnant I remember being at times consumed with concern for the physical well-being of the child I was carrying. As I contemplated all the possibilities for physical impairment, it came to me that none of them matter, so long as the spirit remains healthy. That provided great comfort and strengthened my faith in an eternal purpose for life.

Now that Kiddo is here and healthy, I find myself very watchful of his physical well-being: I guard his naps, I watch for any signs of illness, I closely track his bodily functions. The question then arises: Am I (will I be) as careful with his spiritual health?

Will I guard his opportunities for feeling the spirit? Will I be aware of the symptoms of spiritual illness? Will I keep track of his spiritual growth?

I hope so.

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How Hypnobabies Worked for Me

The first post in this series

The second post in this series

I started into labor on a Thursday evening. DH and I taught a class that night together, which turned out to be really handy. First, it kept my mind occupied for a couple of hours. Second, there was a clock in the back of the classroom and that made it really easy to keep track of my contractions. By the time we left for the 40 minute drive home, they were about 5-6 minutes apart. I was kind of bummed because it was a week before my due date and I had just turned in my thesis the Monday of that week. That meant I had not yet done the other things I had wanted to do to prepare for Kiddo's birth: a haircut, an eyebrow wax, and a pedicure. So on the way home from our class we stopped for a late night haircut at a friend's house.

The contractions continued through the night and I felt in control of my body for all of that time. I use the relaxation techniques to stay on top of the contractions all through the next morning. Finally around noon, I decided to go to the hospital instead of to my pedicure appointment. I couldn't resist stopping off to have my eyebrows waxed on the way though.

I guess all that is a pretty good indication as to how well I was doing through early labor. Once at the hospital, they checked me in and decided this was it. After a bit I went ahead and used the CD track intended for labor (as opposed to preparation for labor). It was about an hour long and it really helped me to focus and shut off for a while. I got to use a spa tub and that helped as well.

Unfortunately, it was about this time that the nurse started showing concern that the baby wasn't responding like (s)he should. When she started talking about internal monitoring, I started to feel a bit of panic. I started to realize that we could end up having a C-section and I knew I would be much happier having already had the epidural in for that to happen. In addition, I was getting to a point where I felt I was barely handling the contractions and the thought of having my membranes ruptured artificially and the monitors inserted was more than I could handle. So I had the epidural put in.

Long story short, I did end up having a C-section, for which I am very grateful as it most likely saved our little boy's life.

Coming soon..."Final Reflections on a Hypnobabies birth".

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Preparing for a Hypnobabies Birth or How I took a 35 minute nap each day and counted it for practice in labor

The first post in this series

No joke -- just as finished my last post, the CD player (set to random) flipped over to a Hypnobabies CD left in there from before Kiddo's birth. In an instant, I was transported back to the weeks before Kiddo was born...

I decided rather late in my pregnancy to go the hypnobabies route, so my CDs came with the instruction to do two exercises a day. Each one lasted about 30 minutes which meant an hour of my day needed to go to the course. This was somewhat trying for me as I was working gangbusters on my thesis at the time and trying to complete it before Kiddo's birth. On the other hand, it was nice to have a planned time to relax.

So I dutifully began practice in relaxation and self-hypnosis. I did really well for the first few weeks. I was amazed at how good I got at relaxing and turning my body off. When the task turned from just relaxing to learning how to get up and walk around while in a self-hypnotized state,I kind of fell off of my practice schedule. I never really got well practiced in the later techniques, but I did get pretty good at relaxing and doing it very quickly.

I thought I had pretty good memories of the course, but when the CD came up after my last post, and I heard the voice of the guide and the start up music, I had a rush of odd emotions, not all of which were positive.

Up next..."How Hypnobabies Worked for Me"

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The Hypnobabies Choice

At our first pre-natal visit for Kiddo, the Dr. asked three questions,

"Are you planning to breastfeed?"
"Are you planning on an epidural?"
"What are you plans for birth control after the baby?"

The third question really caught me off-guard. I mean, how far was that from my mind?

I had already decided to breastfeed if I could, but I wasn't really sure about the epidural thing. I had heard so many mixed opinions and ideas about it that I just wasn't sure.

Now my Dr. was great about supporting me in anything I decided to do, but he wasn't always great at providing information unless I asked for it. And me being me, I didn't really ask him about it until I had figured it out for myself.

After much research (and a blog post I really liked), we decided to go the self-hypnosis route. I felt kind of weird about it because I am one of the most skeptical people I know. But I thought it might be worth a shot.

I selected the Hypnobabies program after a not so helpful hospital class on natural methods. I felt good about it and DH was very supportive of the choice.

So was it a good choice? After secretly hoping for a birth like this one, I was interested to see how the whole thing turned out.

Stay tuned for the next installment... "Preparing for a Hypnobabies Birth" or "How I took an 35 minute nap each day and counted it for practice in labor".

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Event Planning with a Baby

This weekend I was on charge of a rather large event. It involved quite a bit of planning and quite a bit of work as the day got closer.
Last year I did a similar event and worked like crazy. I remember coming home tired to the bone and crashing. It was the next day we found out I was pregnant.

This year I recognized that I would not be able to keep up the same pace in preparation. For some reason having a 4-month-old really makes things happen at a different pace. And overall, I was successful in both the mothering of the day and the event itself. I took things an hour at a time, worked while he slept, got help for when he was awake, etc.

The only rough part for kiddo was going to sleep in a strange place (his stroller in a dark room) and having to wake up to come home.

Oh well, you can't win them all. But I won most of it!

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Cute as a puppy

When I was almost 8, my only sibling was born: a brother. And he was adorable!

I think my mother did a good job of preparing me for the change and for helping me cope with the new challenges that came with no longer being an only child. When I struggled with not being noticed anymore in favor of the cute new baby, she told me "The day will come when only you and I and dad will think he is cute. Kind of like with kittens and puppies. There will come a day when we are the ones who like him."

Trouble was, it never quite happened that way. He stayed cute and still is.

But hearing this made me feel really good as an eight-year-old. Like I was in on some secret. Some secret you say? Well, after 21 years (Happy Birthday, Bro!), I think I've figured it out.

I think what she meant was that it is a privilege to be family. Because it means sticking it out with someone even when things aren't hunky-dory.

Why is that a privilege? Because serving when it isn't convenient, giving your all even when you're exhausted, and laughing when the jokes aren't funny makes you happy. Giving to another on that level is what it means to be a sister, a wife, and now a mother.

So when Kiddo smiles and charms everyone else and then cries in my arms for an hour, I smile. Because I have the blessing of being there even when he isn't charming, when I'm really tired, and I'll be there when the jokes aren't funny. That is what it means to be a mother.

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Making it Look Easy

For my birthday (yes, I had one of those recently) we went out to a Japanese steakhouse for dinner. We decided to take Kiddo with us, in part because I couldn't imagine celebrating my birthday without him.

He was so good he made being a parent look easy.


First, he was cute and smiley to all of the table neighbors. Then he got a bit fussy and I nursed him right there at the table thanks to my Bebe au Lait. I don't even think the other half of the table even noticed. Then he watched the table show and was adorably startled when the chef lit the table on fire.

And then he fell asleep in the stroller for the second half of the meal. It really was a lucky night; at the end I turned to DH and said "Kiddo makes this parenting thing look way too easy."

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The Psychology of Sleep

Last night Kiddo slept for another 6 1/2 hour stretch. The great news of the day? I slept through 5 hours of it. Now, kiddo did wake up three times; and three times my DH (and I mean dear) got up and put the plug back in and Kiddo went back to sleep. What is weird is that I never heard him cry...

It turns out that even though the monitor is right over my head and I am very attuned to his noises, when I feel no responsibility for responding to Kiddo--based on a previous tactical decision--I don't hear Kiddo, much less wake up for it.

What is funny is that 2 weeks ago, DH could sleep through any nighttime escapades without stirring. Now he wakes up and takes care of the Kiddo before I even hear him.

Seems that the person who feels the responsibility is more likely to wake up.

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A great night

Last night Kiddo slept for 6 hours straight. Well, he did kind of wake up and DH went and put the plug back in. And then he fussed and DH carried him in to put him back in the bassinet.

But then he slept without getting up for his 2am feeding. Wonder if it'll ever happen again! Ok, it'll happen again; he won't be getting up to eat at 2am between the ages of 4 and 14 for sure. But I wonder if it will happen again in the next 2 weeks!

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Back from California

Kiddo and I had a great time in California visiting the grandparents. We...
-ate yummy Chinese food (well, I did, Kiddo had it on the delayed menu)
-took long baths (true for each of us in our relative spheres)
-slept in uncle J's room

-planned our trip this summer to pick up uncle J from his mission
-napped at odd times and got up lots of times at night
-went on lots of walks in the warm California sunshine

Basically we were on vacation.

It is nice to be home, though.

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A question of heat

Greetings from sunny California! We are having a great time with the
grandparents and loving the sunny weather. Which brings up a question...

Kiddo has been nursing much more frequently since we arrived. Back home he
was eating every 3 hours or so. Here it has been every two. My mom
thinks that may be because it is warmer and he is sweating more. Anyone
have any experience with this or ideas? Thanks!

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