The Name Game, revisited

Since Kiddo was born a boy instead of a girl, we didn't have the same amount of time to consider what his name would be. I posted a couple of times about the name decision; for a while we were going through the alphabet a day at a time thinking of all the girl names we knew with those letters. In the end, we thought of a few girl names we liked, but were waiting for the baby's birth to make a decision.

Then came The Big Surprise of 2006: kiddo was a boy. We sat in the hospital room the day after he was born and in about 3 minutes picked his name. I listed about 5 boy names I liked, and Christina mentioned the ones she liked of those. Then we talked about the meanings for a minute, and we made our decision. 3 minutes to make a decision for a boy's name when we'd talked about girl names for more than 4 full months. It's kind of funny when we look back on it.

We really didn't want to share with people our thoughts about names, though, because we were afraid of getting input from people who wanted to tell us what to name our baby, or how to spell the name. We were on the traditional side of things, both in name choices and in spellings, but we still didn't want everybody telling us how to do things.

Then I read a recent Dear Abby article about this subject. I thought I'd share it with you. (Thanks to my MIL for finding this and sending it to me.)

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A Gift from God

OK. Finally a chance to breathe. Which means a chance to update the blogging world on our exploits.

I know this is going to be long. Bear with me.

Thursday I went to work for a while, but came home early in the day for a conference call that was late in the afternoon. It was good to be home, because I was able to be with C, who had contractions that were starting to come more regularly. We teach an evening Institute class at a college institute that is about 45 minutes from our house. That's on Thursdays, so we decided to go to class, as it was our last class for the year.

Thursday night contractions were coming every 8-10 minutes, with an occasional 5 minute, or 6 minute contraction. We taught our class, and drove home. On the way home, C was lamenting not getting her hair cut before the baby came. She was sad about the thought that if the baby were to come overnight, she wouldn't have had her hair cut (the appointment was for Friday morning). So while we were driving home, I called our neighbor on the phone. This neighbor cuts hair, and has a salon in her house. I asked if she would consider an emergency 9:45 PM hair appointment, which she did. We got home knowing that no matter what, there would be cute hair for the baby's birth. :)

We got to bed late, and the contractions stayed regular throughout the night, and C didn't sleep much. We woke up, and timed them again, and they were about 6 minutes apart, but weren't extremely intense. We watched them get to be about five minutes apart, but somewhat irregularly; some were 20 minutes apart, which seemed to indicate false labor, however at about noon, C decided that it was maybe time to go to the hospital to get checked out. When she scheduled the original hair appointment, she had also scheduled an eyebrow wax (hey, there's going to be pictures for posterity, right?), but since she hadn't gone to the hair appointment, she hadn't had the wax either. While we were driving to the hospital, we passed an waxing place, and C said, "I bet it wouldn't take long if we stopped and had the eyebrow wax before we went to the hospital." Well, knowing what I know now, there is no chance I would have stopped for a wax. But we were uninformed, and somewhat naïve, I suppose, so we stopped and had the eyebrows waxed. (I should have taken a picture after it was done. They were so red!)

We got to the hospital. I half expected them to send us away, since the contractions weren't as severe as they are for those women in the movies! They got C hooked up to the monitors and started watching the baby. Everybody who came in asked if we knew the gender. Of course, we knew it was a baby girl. The ultrasonographer at week 20 was certain it was a girl, and we've been planning accordingly. I've never seen so much pink in my life. And we found the most adorable little baby girl coming home outfit I've ever seen. But that is getting side tracked from the topic here.

More...

The fetal monitor showed minimal variation in the baby's heart rate, which meant that the baby wasn't responding to anything. They tried making baby listen to loud sounds, and they tried pushing and prodding the baby. Major pushing and prodding. During contractions. Nothing caused the heart rate to move much.

After a couple of hours, they decided that they needed to do internal monitoring (by placing a sensor directly on baby's head). In order to do that, they had to artificially rupture the membrane. At this point, the pain had become unbearable, for a couple of reasons including hemorrhoids. Since they were going to have to do stuff internally, we decided to go ahead and get the epidural. She had dilated to a six at this point, but we talked about it and felt the epidural intervention was necessary. So the anesthesiologist came in and gave the epidural. Then they broke the membranes and discovered that the baby had passed the first bowel movement in-utero, which was bad news, since baby was still a week away from the due date. It is a sign that there is fetal distress. After two attempts, they finally got the internal monitor working (turns out the first time it was a faulty connection, not a problem with the monitor or the monitor site), and they were able to see that with every contraction, the baby's heart rate was dropping. The doctor determined that it wasn't in baby's best interest to try to be born naturally, when baby couldn't handle the stress of a standard contraction. The decision was made to do a c-section, and I'm so glad we did it.

They took us back into the operating room and prepped C for the surgery. I'm weak-kneed with a weak stomach, so I didn't really want to watch. They offered a mirror for C to watch, but she decided that she didn't want to watch either. As the head started to come out of the incision, the anesthesiologist pointed, and I looked. I saw the head come out and then the body. As they were carrying the baby over to the nursery side of the OR, I saw between the little legs, and I said, "Is that a BOY?" The doctor said, "Yep! It's a boy!" And I thought, "Did you pull out the right baby? We're expecting a GIRL!"

When I found out it was a boy, I was in shock. I couldn't believe it. This was not what we expected at all. Not that I'm sad at all about a boy. I'm just so surprised! I mean, WOW! This is not what I expected. I think it's like planning a trip to Hawaii and getting on the plane, and having the plane land in England. Both are great places to visit, but you'd pack different clothes for the trip, if only you'd known when you started.

Anyway, back to the story. I followed the baby while they stitched up Mom. They let her look at him briefly before we ran out the door to the nursery. They weighed him, and he was 8 pounds, zero ounces, and 20.5 inches long. He has long dark hair, and is adorable. And you don't have to take my word for it.

After a bit, I saw the Grandmas eagerly (impatiently? excitedly?) awaiting info. This is the first grandchild on both sides, and they were both very eager to hear any updates. I walked out and told them the news: mom was doing well, but baby was not a girl. Baby was a boy. They didn't believe me. I told them to ask one of the nursing staff. The nursing staff confirmed that he was indeed a boy, and that the first grandchild on both sides is a grandson. For visual confirmation, we opened the diaper.

The at-that-point-unnamed-child had his first shots, and was put in an oxygen tent to help give him air. The doctor came over and started telling me about the previously-unknown complications. As it turns out it is literally a miracle that this baby didn't die in-utero. There were three major complications. First, the placenta had begun to calcify. That isn't all that unusual, except that our baby was a week early. That is a sign of fetal distress, and means that the baby isn't getting the needed nutrition. To understand the more serious second and third complications, you have to know that an umbilical cord is basically composed of two arteries, covered in a protective cord-like covering. Generally, an umbilical cord attaches to the middle of the placenta. A good connection is essential, since if severed, the baby would bleed out and die before you knew anything was wrong. Okay, so the second complication was that the umbilical cord was not implanted in the placenta. It was implanted on the membranes, or bag of waters. If the water had broken in the wrong spot, the baby would have died, and mom's life would have been in serious jeopardy. Third, the protective cord-like covering was missing over the last 5 inches of the umbilical cord, so the two arteries were totally exposed with no protection. In addition, the arteries didn't connect to the membranes before they spider-branched out, and connected to the membrane with many smaller veins rather than the large arteries. Apparently in many of these cases, the movement of the baby pinches or severs these little veins, and the baby bleeds out. I mean, the look on the doctor's face was worth a thousand words. The doctor basically said that a baby in this situation would not normally have survived in the womb, and most certainly wouldn't have survived a natural delivery. I can't tell you how many nurses that have come into the room and told us how lucky and blessed we are. He truly is a miracle baby.

Anyway, I stayed with Kiddo as they did the first shots and such. It took a couple of hours before they were ready to let him go meet mom. Finally, they let him go down to mom's room. Mom got to hold him for the first time, which was a lot fun for everybody. He tried to hang out for a while, but his monitors said he wasn't stable, so they took him back to the nursery.

He had fluid and meconium in the lungs, and he developed pneumonia. He also developed a slight case of jaundice. They put him on a billy-bed for light therapy. His infection blood results were quite high, and they were double checked by a different hospital, so he will be on antibiotics for another week or so. They are carefully watching for meningitis, although the pediatrician is very positive saying she is almost certain that isn't what he has. She thinks that the antibiotics will kick-in in the next 24 hours, and he should be able to come off oxygen.

They have been watching him very closely in the nursery. Until this afternoon (Monday) they haven't even let him come out to feed, so C has been heading down to feed him every couple of hours. I was lucky enough to find a wi-fi internet connection here at the hospital, so its been fun to feel a bit more connected to the outside world.

We hadn't picked a name when we came to the hospital, which turned out to be kind of a good thing, but we hadn't even considered little boy names. Finally, C and I sat down together on Saturday and picked a name. We chose N-------l because, well, first we really liked the name. Second we loved the meaning: "Gift from God." He truly is a gift from God. He is lucky to have lived through birth. Not so many years ago, he probably wouldn't have made it. Even considering the marvels of modern medicine, if a couple of things hadn't gone just right, we could have been in big trouble. I can't tell you how many ways that might have gone wrong. But God was gracious and gave us a wonderful blessing and gift.

So we are counting our blessings, recognizing how lucky and blessed we are to have a happy, mostly-healthy-baby boy.

Mom is doing very well; she's tired, but recovering well. She will be released tomorrow. Kiddo probably doesn't get to come home right away. We're hoping it will maybe only be an extra day.

Thank you, all of you, for your prayers and support during this time. The outlook today is fantastic. Kiddo just needs a little extra help to get off to the best start possible.

So that is the story of how Kiddo came into the world.

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An impatient daddy's ramblings

We have started the 33rd of 40 weeks. It might as well be 400 weeks. Those who have been there recently tell me that the last month can't go by fast enough. I am wondering about the last two months ... :)

I'm so ready for this baby girl to get here. In fact, I'm impatient for it to happen.

I know, I know. I should have learned patience right now. I remember that while serving as a missionary, people would always tell me, "Elder, the Lord is trying to teach you patience." Well, I want to hurry up and learn it already, because I'm tired of waiting!

No, really, we are excited for the baby's arrival. Still no name yet, and that's really because we haven't chosen one, not because we're just not telling. Although I will tell you that there are a couple that we really like. But I don't think a decision will be made until she decides to make her appearance.

C is starting to get to the uncomfortable phase of her pregnancy. She has to get up multiple times a night to take care of business. Plus, she can't sleep unless she has like 4 pillows and three blankets strategically placed on, around, under, and over her. You gotta feel sorry for her. It doesn't look like much fun, but she is a trooper and doesn't complain (much at least). She is much more worried right now about her master's thesis, which she is trying to finish before the baby comes. She actually hopes to finish it, defend, and turn in any revisions before the baby comes, so she isn't feeling like 8 weeks sounds all that far away. Of course, when I think about it in work terms, I don't think it seems that far away either. We've gone one cycle left in our agile development process before our release date, and that is right before the baby is due (and the same weekend that C wants to defend her thesis).

Our next-door-neighbor came over last night to borrow something, and she told us that they found out that they are expecting. She's only about 6 weeks along (which is crazy pregnancy math that counts two weeks as if you were pregnant when any rational person can tall you is malarkey...). She said she is due in early June. My first thought was, "June. That is so far away!" My next thought, "Well, early December's not so bad, I suppose."

So I keep going back and forth. Sometimes 8 weeks seems like forever, and sometimes it seems like there is a slight chance it might go somewhat faster than I worry that it won't (if that makes sense). I always laugh at those people who tell me, "It will be here before you know it." I have to think to my self that it's like telling the mother of a departing missionary that her child will be home before she knows it. A mother of a missionary feels every day. So does an expectant parent. At least when that expectant parent is me.

by really, its going to be great. I'm so excited!! I can't wait.

Is it December 7th yet? Is it December 7th yet?

(I wonder if I could bribe St. Nikolaus to hook up with the stork for his rounds on December 6th. I'd clean my Nikolaus-Stiefel really good, I promise!!)

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The Name Game, an ABC exercise

As you know, we are expecting a baby girl sometime in December. About a month ago, we went in for the twenty-week ultrasound appointment. The ultrasonographer and C's doctor were both almost certain that the new addition will be a girl.

Because we now know the gender, apparently we are supposed to be thinking of names. Everybody we meet asks us if we have picked a name yet.

"Can't you give us a little time?" I silently wonder? After all, we are barely half way there! But just about everybody asks us "the question" when they know the gender and find out how far along we are.

Dealing with this has been harder than I anticipated. From the very beginning, C and I decided that we didn't want to talk publicly about the names we liked or had chosen. For some reason, people seem to think that if the baby hasn't been born yet, then they can give whatever opinion they want about the name that you have selected.

Everybody, it seems, thinks that we care about their opinion.

Frankly, we don't. Not to be rude, but I'm not going to give my child a different name because your best friend in elementary school had a dog with the name we like.

Guess what? I don't care. We are going to pick the name that feels right and sounds right to us. Our neighbors, friends, and well-meaning relatives are invited to keep their opinions to themselves.

However, I can't come right out and say that to them. So instead, I found a way to deflect the question whenever it comes up. I decided to go through the alphabet, one letter at a time, and each day we will think of girl names that start with that letter. We started with the letter A, and today we are on the letter K. When people ask us what names we're thinking about, we say something like, "Well, today is a K day. What girl names do you like that start with K?"

I've found that this is a pretty good solution. It deflects the conversation away from us having to provide the names we like, and instead, we get to let people give their input on names they like instead. They can give their opinion on names without us having to be the ones who provided the fodder for analysis.

Judgement of the names is left to us, which we can do, in private. And in case you are wondering, there is a name or two that we like above the others. But I'm not going to tell you what it is. December will arrive, the baby will be born, and her name will be announced to the world. Once it is announced and attached to a beautiful baby girl, people will have to keep their dislike of the name to themselves. Until then, we welcome your suggestions.

Kindly remember, however, that today is a K day. And if you ask what names we like, we'll try to deflect the question so subtly that you don't even realize we've done it, unless we tell you about it. Like this post: a paragraph that starts with each letter used so far; discovering names with a new letter every day.

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